drax13 Posted January 1, 2008 Report Posted January 1, 2008 So you want a dex belt huh? Well post the funniest joke you've ever read or heard. Ill pick the funniest one and give me dex belt to you ^^ DUE DATE: Whenever I feel like ending it, but most likely some time this week. PRIZE: If you don't know what it is your retarded <EDIT> The prize was changed to a vit belt since my fag cousin took my dex belt when I lent him my account
drax13 Posted January 1, 2008 Author Report Posted January 1, 2008 1337 ragnarok hacks with invincibility, 1 hit kills, 999999999 zeny, and GM commands @nuke FTW
Terroryst Posted January 1, 2008 Report Posted January 1, 2008 1337 ragnarok hacks with invincibility, 1 hit kills, 999999999 zeny, and GM commands @nuke FTW You mean become Patch?
Sapphirel Posted January 1, 2008 Report Posted January 1, 2008 Once there was a man who went to the local parish priest to confess his sins. Guy: Father, please forgive me for I have sinned. I skipped church last sunday to sleep with my girlfriend's sister. Priest: .... Guy: Then her mother saw us having sex. Priest: .... Guy: Then the mother joined in as well. Father you must think of me as a horrible man. Priest: What the fuck are you saying? Give me a high-five you motherfucker!
Terroryst Posted January 1, 2008 Report Posted January 1, 2008 Once there was a man who went to the local parish priest to confess his sins. Guy: Father, please forgive me for I have sinned. I skipped church last sunday to sleep with my girlfriend's sister. Priest: .... Guy: Then her mother saw us having sex. Priest: .... Guy: Then the mother joined in as well. Father you must think of me as a horrible man. Priest: What the fuck are you saying? Give me a high-five you motherfucker! Dude...That is awesome...
Sapphirel Posted January 1, 2008 Report Posted January 1, 2008 A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
Eclipse Posted January 1, 2008 Report Posted January 1, 2008 It was 2:30 PM at Kindengarden School... Boy 1: yo check that teacher booty baby! Boy 2: Sweet Baby Juice! Boy 1: How about we create out a Mafia? Boy 2: Man... Kindengarden Mafia? We already tried to create one... Flashback... 3 Weeks ago.. Boy 1: YES GRAB THE TEACHER BY THE LEG.. Boy 3: I GOT THE PUSSY TAKE CARE OF THE REST! Boy 2: OMFG she got bulbs baby! Boy 4: Hurry Mafia #1 Finger her Ass! Boy 1: I prefer dick it... Everybody: You don't have a dick you bastard... we are still in kindengarden... Boy 1: so... why are we trying to rape our teacher anyway...? Boy 2: Its her birthday today... Boy 1: *O.o* so... why we are exactly doing this? Boy 3: Because We are the Mafia... We Smoke, We Rape, We Falsificate... Boy 4: So... why we are trying to rape a fake teacher? Boy 1: WHAT?! THAT ISN'T THE REAL ONE?! FUCK DON'T LET HER ESCAPE! AFTER THE REAL ONE!! Boy 2: ...I prefer the plastic falsificated one... Boy 1: What the hell? Why? Boy 2: Because from yesterday to today... Our teach got unstoppable and ate everything she saw on the refrigirator yesterday... she even added silicons to her bulbs... and if you look at her today... You will not like to rape a woman anymore... Boy 1: *>.>'* I can imagine what u are trying to say right now... better we take the plastic one... At least you guys got some hair for the pussy... Today... Boy 1: Ahhh... Why can't we do that again? Boy 2: Because Michael Jackson Raped the fake one... Boy 1: Bull............ shit...
rei Posted January 1, 2008 Report Posted January 1, 2008 Whilst enjoying a drink with a friend one night, Dan decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar. To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he'd like to come back to her place. The pair jump into a taxi and as soon as they get back to her flat they dive onto the bed and spend the night hard at it. Finally, Dan being totally spent rolls over, pulls out a cigarette from his jeans and searches for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asks the girl if she has one at hand. "There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replies. Opening the drawer of the bedside table, he finds a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, Dan begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquires nervously. "No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" "No, don't be daft," she says, nibbling away at his ear. "Well, who is he then?" demands the Dan. Calmly, the girl takes a match, strikes it across the side of her face and replies, "That's me before the operation."(plastic surgery)
Amitsu Posted January 1, 2008 Report Posted January 1, 2008 2gether... We... Laff... @... EPIC The cake is a lie... The cake is a lie... The cake is a lie... The cake is a lie... The cake is a lie... The cake is a lie... I WAS FRAMED! SET UP! IT'S A LIE SEX WANTED! KIMIKO ASSASSIN. Hidden Sex! This is her in the Shadows! She wants it while she's Hidden so it doesn't get recorded!
Sapphirel Posted January 1, 2008 Report Posted January 1, 2008 In kindergarten, the teacher was having some religious talk with the students. She asks one of the little kids, "Where can we find God?" The child replied, "In the church!". "Very good!" The teacher smiled. Another one raised her hand, "In the worship concerts I saw my momma sing with her friends. God must be there!" "Correct!" The teacher smiled again. And then another child raised his hand, "God is in our hearts!" Another correct answer. But when little Billy raised his hand, he replied shyly. "In the bathroom." "Whaaat?!" The teacher was furious."How come God is in the toilet?!" "Well you see..." The boy narrated, "When momma wakes up every morning, she would bang the toilet door and say 'Oh dear lord! When are you coming out of there?!'" Teacher and students: .....
Arcane Posted January 1, 2008 Report Posted January 1, 2008 How about this?: http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ps0XcxrWc7M
no1i Posted January 1, 2008 Report Posted January 1, 2008 A boy runs up to a old lady, taps her on the shoulder, her breast becomes dust.
Rayray Posted January 1, 2008 Report Posted January 1, 2008 >>Defense Attorney: >>Will you please state your age? >>Little Old Lady: >>I am 86 years old. >>Defense Attorney: >>Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st? >>Little Old Lady: >>There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring >>evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me. >>Defense Attorney: >>Did you know >>him? >>Little Old Lady: >>No, but he sure was friendly. >>Defense Attorney: >>What happened after he sat down? >>Little Old Lady: >>He started to rub my thigh. >>Defense Attorney: >>Did you stop him? >>Little Old Lady: >>No, I didn't stop him. >>Defense Attorney: >>Why not? >>Little Old Lady: >>It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago. >>Defense Attorney: >>What happened next? >>Little Old Lady: >>He began to rub my breasts. >>Defense Attorney: >>Did you stop him then? >>Little Old Lady: >>No, I did not stop him. >>Defense Attorney: >>Why not? >>Little Old Lady: >>His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years! >>Defense Attorney: >>What happened next? >>Little Old Lady: >>Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and told him >>"Take me, young man. Take me now!" >>Defense Attorney: >>Did he take you? >>Little Old Lady: >>Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot him, the little bastard. _______________________________________________________________
Rayray Posted January 1, 2008 Report Posted January 1, 2008 An elderly couple, both well into their seventies, goes to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?" The man says, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor raises his eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice, he agrees. When the couple finishes, the doctor says, "There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." He thanks them for coming, wishes them good luck, charges them $50, and says goodbye to them. The next week, however, the couple returns and asks the therapist to watch again. The therapist is a bit puzzled, but he agrees. This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problem, pays the doctor, then leaves. Finally, after five weeks of this routine, the doctor says, I'm sorry, but I have to ask you something. Just what are you trying to find out?" The old man says, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married so we can't go to her house. I'm married so we can't go to mine. The Holiday Inn charges $98 and the Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Blue Cross."
Rayray Posted January 1, 2008 Report Posted January 1, 2008 Some Questions, Some facts If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... Does that mean that one enjoys it? If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks? There are three religious truths: Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the Leader of the Chr istian Faith. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me, they're cramming for their final exam.
trabix Posted January 1, 2008 Report Posted January 1, 2008 heres one... During a couple's anniversary, a wife reminded her husband: Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn't talk for an hour?" The husband replied: "Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life."
Sapphirel Posted January 1, 2008 Report Posted January 1, 2008 Son: Dad! Dad! I am so happy today! Dad: Why? Son: I fucked my teacher in the classroom! Dad: Oh wow! Lets celebrate then! My son has finally become a real man! Come here you little bastard and grab a beer and sit with yer old man! Son: I can't. Dad: WHY?! Son: My ass still hurts. Dad: ....
Rockz Posted January 1, 2008 Report Posted January 1, 2008 This is a joke about the Dolphins :) i like them but meh OK there was a Boy getting beat by his parents So the Boy go to court with his mom and dad and it happens like this Judge: Which Parent would you like to stay with? Boy says:i dont want to stay with neither of them Judge says:u half to stay with one You Mom Boy says:No she Beats me Judge says:your Dad? Boy says :no she beats me to So the boy said Can i stay with the Dolphins they don Beat anyone :) i think its funny haha
Sapphirel Posted January 1, 2008 Report Posted January 1, 2008 There was once this young couple who wanted to have sex, but didn't have enough money to pay for a motel room. Instead, they decided to do it in the girl's house. The only problem is that there is only one bed in the girl's room, and it was a double-decked bed. The girl's little sister is the one sleeping at the bottom bed and the older sister is the one sleeping at the top. So the thing is, they could have sex there, but they mustn't wake the little girl. Girlfriend: Okay, I have a solution. When I say "Ham", you would go faster. When I say "Baloney", you would slow down. Ham and Baloney are the passwords. (Then they climbed up the top bed and started having sex) Girlfriend: Ham Ham ham!! (The boyfriend goes faster in humping her) Girlfriend: Baloney baloney baloney!! (The boyfriend slows down a bit) Girlfriend: Ham ham ham!! (The boyfriend goes faster again) Just then, the little girl woke up and shouted at the lovers having sex at the top bed. Little Sister: Goddamnit!! Quit makin' sandwiches up there will ya? I'm getting mayonnaise all over me~!! Couple: ....
ahweng Posted January 1, 2008 Report Posted January 1, 2008 Christmas Jokes : What do monkeys sing at Christmas ?Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. ! Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ?They both drop their needles ! What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas ?Thanks, I''ll never part with it ! Why is a burning candle like being thirsty ?Because a little water ends both of them ! What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree ?A pineapple !
Damascus Posted January 1, 2008 Report Posted January 1, 2008 So you want a dex belt huh? Well post the funniest joke you've ever read or heard. Ill pick the funniest one and give me dex belt to you ^^ DUE DATE: Whenever I feel like ending it, but most likely some time this week. PRIZE: If you don't know what it is your retarded You're not Your. Your is when you're in possession of something e.g: This is your ball. You're is the abbreviation of You Are eg: You're a slob or You're retarded. Just a comment towards the contenders: Your jokes are long as hell I don't think they're worth laughing at.
sarduarkar Posted January 1, 2008 Report Posted January 1, 2008 Well, why not... From the internets: A bear is chasing a hare through the woods. A genie stops them and says "If you stop chasing the rabbit I will give you each two wishes." They agree, and the bear goes first: "I wish to have the biggest penis in the world!" The genie snaps his fingers and the wish is granted. The hare says: "I wish to have the fastest motorcycle in the world." The genie snaps his fingers and the wish is granted. The bear says: "I wish all the bears in the world except me were female." The genie snaps his fingers and the wish is granted. The hare gets on the bike, starts it says, "I wish the bear were gay," And takes off.
drax13 Posted January 2, 2008 Author Report Posted January 2, 2008 Thanks for correcting me ^^ Not only are you buffed but your one smart ass :P (I just saw your picture) Anyways, I have chosen a few jokes that have given me a chuckle. Here they are: Sapphirel: A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service." rei: Whilst enjoying a drink with a friend one night, Dan decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar. To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he'd like to come back to her place. The pair jump into a taxi and as soon as they get back to her flat they dive onto the bed and spend the night hard at it. Finally, Dan being totally spent rolls over, pulls out a cigarette from his jeans and searches for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asks the girl if she has one at hand. "There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replies. Opening the drawer of the bedside table, he finds a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, Dan begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquires nervously. "No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" "No, don't be daft," she says, nibbling away at his ear. "Well, who is he then?" demands the Dan. Calmly, the girl takes a match, strikes it across the side of her face and replies, "That's me before the operation."(plastic surgery) calintz1218: An elderly couple, both well into their seventies, goes to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?" The man says, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor raises his eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice, he agrees. When the couple finishes, the doctor says, "There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." He thanks them for coming, wishes them good luck, charges them $50, and says goodbye to them. The next week, however, the couple returns and asks the therapist to watch again. The therapist is a bit puzzled, but he agrees. This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problem, pays the doctor, then leaves. Finally, after five weeks of this routine, the doctor says, I'm sorry, but I have to ask you something. Just what are you trying to find out?" The old man says, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married so we can't go to her house. I'm married so we can't go to mine. The Holiday Inn charges $98 and the Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Blue Cross." C'mon people. make me laugh so hard that Ill spit whatever I'm drinking onto my monitor :D And please don't post more than 1 joke. By posting more than one your spamming up the topic, and making me waste me time reading them, so if your going to post a joke make sure its really REALLY GOOD!
