Arcane Posted January 3, 2008 Report Posted January 3, 2008 Does staring make you uncomfortable? Well, your hand on my crotch isn't helping. wow. What a turn on joke. XDD @Amitsu lol. your joke rocks..
phantomspirit Posted January 3, 2008 Report Posted January 3, 2008 Alright, since some people can't tell if I was joking about the previous posting or not. I'll give another shot at this joke which actually happened to my friends. This two friends of mine were on AIM and they were talking on and off with different topics. A: Anyways, how's life? B: eh... not bad, just normal. A: cool cool *10 mins after* A: Hmm... dude you should totally check this album out, it's awesome! B: Alright, I'll do that later. *another 5 mins of silence* *At the same time they decided to say random things* A: So... how's your dad? B: So sexy. A: WTF??
drax13 Posted January 3, 2008 Author Report Posted January 3, 2008 O_O that was random. My favourite jokes so far are: sarduarkar 's bear joke ngasalaja 's swimmer joke and rei 's she male joke Ill be announcing the winner soon!
Tsuyoi Posted January 4, 2008 Report Posted January 4, 2008 If it's not to late to reply, my jokes: George Bush being President And... A Chuck Norris joke (omg): Chuck Norris' daughter lost her virginity. He went and found it and put it back.
drax13 Posted January 4, 2008 Author Report Posted January 4, 2008 Lol, classical chuck norris joke. And the george bush as president made me shit myself XD
Arcane Posted January 4, 2008 Report Posted January 4, 2008 If it's not to late to reply, my jokes: George Bush being President I think This Joke deserves to win.
Lorillai Posted January 4, 2008 Report Posted January 4, 2008 Hopefully not too bad. Enjoy. >.< Q: How do blond braincells die? A: Alone. Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Ground beef. Q: What is the definition of ultimate rejection? A: Your hand falling asleep while masturbating. Another: On a very cold winter night, three homeless men huddled up close to keep warm. In the morning, the guy on the right says, "I had a dream that someone was pulling on my dick." The guy on the left says, "I also had a dream that someone was pulling on my dick." "The guy in the middle says, "I had a dream that I went skiing."
Amitsu Posted January 4, 2008 Report Posted January 4, 2008 Q: What is the definition of ultimate rejection? A: Your hand falling asleep while masturbating. Another: On a very cold winter night, three homeless men huddled up close to keep warm. In the morning, the guy on the right says, "I had a dream that someone was pulling on my dick." The guy on the left says, "I also had a dream that someone was pulling on my dick." "The guy in the middle says, "I had a dream that I went skiing." omg those are win wins
Irrelevant Posted January 4, 2008 Report Posted January 4, 2008 You know what's bullshit? I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock beats scissors, but there's no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take note in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody. A rock would tear up that shit up in two seconds. When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock. If somebody claims to have beaten me with paper, then I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say: "Oh, shit, I'm sorry! I though paper would protect you, asshole!"
Arcane Posted January 4, 2008 Report Posted January 4, 2008 You know what's bullshit? I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock beats scissors, but there's no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take note in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody. A rock would tear up that shit up in two seconds. When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock. If somebody claims to have beaten me with paper, then I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say: "Oh, shit, I'm sorry! I though paper would protect you, asshole!" Nice joke there my friend.
Damascus Posted January 4, 2008 Report Posted January 4, 2008 You know what's bullshit? I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock beats scissors, but there's no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take note in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody. A rock would tear up that shit up in two seconds. When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock. If somebody claims to have beaten me with paper, then I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say: "Oh, shit, I'm sorry! I though paper would protect you, asshole!" Rofl, Irre too bad most people here don't really laugh at jokes that don't involve sexual humor and horrible grammar or terribly mispelt words but this one made me laugh. I think I'ma do that one day.
drax13 Posted January 4, 2008 Author Report Posted January 4, 2008 I have chosen a winner! ngasalaja 's swimmer joke: The Swimmer Once there was a millionaire who had a collection of live alligators. He kept them in a pool at the back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day, he decides to throw a huge party. During the party he announces, "My dear guests, I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!" As soon as he finishes his last word, there is the sound of a large splash. The guests all turn to see a man in the pool swimming as fast as he can. They cheer him on as he keeps stroking. Finally, the swimming man makes it to the other side unharmed. The millionaire is so impressed, he says, "My boy, that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well, I must keep my end of the bargain. Which do you want, my daughter or the one million dollars?" The man says, "Listen, I don't want your money. I don't want your daughter, either. I want the person who pushed me in that water!" Find me or pm me Kiwi Happy if you wish to receive your vit belt. (I had to change prize, read first post) If you dont claim your prize within this week I'll hold another event to get rid of it.
~Ethernal Posted January 4, 2008 Report Posted January 4, 2008 Racist one is allowed? How long a black women takes to take out the garbage? 9 Months. Im not racist :]
Ethereal Posted January 4, 2008 Report Posted January 4, 2008 You know what's bullshit? I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock beats scissors, but there's no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take note in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody. A rock would tear up that shit up in two seconds. When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock. If somebody claims to have beaten me with paper, then I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say: "Oh, shit, I'm sorry! I though paper would protect you, asshole!" This is the only joke that made me laugh. .__.; I always tell my friends this when playing that game. ;_;
kimiko Posted January 4, 2008 Report Posted January 4, 2008 Rei's he-she joke, the Beyonce joke, and Irrev's joke did it for me. And God being in the bathroom... cute.
ngasalaja Posted January 4, 2008 Report Posted January 4, 2008 whoa thanks Arcane ^^ uhh... what GMT do u live in? its hard to meet someone lol do u have ventrilo, leave me a chat msg there, ill msg u back tee hee
drax13 Posted January 5, 2008 Author Report Posted January 5, 2008 Ya um, how can I get the belt to you? Send me your email, I thought of a way.
drax13 Posted January 5, 2008 Author Report Posted January 5, 2008 Please close this, its over and the belt was given away. :P
Zeitgeist Posted January 5, 2008 Report Posted January 5, 2008 For the sake of fun: Three drunk men walk into a bar... ... .... ..... You would expect at least one of them would've seen the bar...
Arcane Posted January 5, 2008 Report Posted January 5, 2008 lol. suddenly my head hurts when I read Zeitgeist's joke...
Zeitgeist Posted January 7, 2008 Report Posted January 7, 2008 Please close this, its over and the belt was given away. :P Haven't noticed it. By request: -Closed-
