Antagonist Posted June 19, 2009 Report Posted June 19, 2009 All Credits to my Good Friend Zeratos. Thank you for letting me use this, and allowing me to post this here. BUT BEFORE YOU READ THIS GUIDE. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noob#Alternative_spellings This Topic is FOR FUN and the enjoyment of others. Don't like it? It offends you? then GTFO and don't flame. Based on gruelling research on Zeratos's general point of knowledge of the Game, as well as some other observations made by myself, and a team. Number One : Always wear a smiley mask in PvP. Noobs will never ever touch this mask as they believe it to be a weak headgear. However this may come as a double edged sword. As pro's know that noobs never wear it, they will promptly know you are a FAKE noob. However, noobs on the other hand might feel provoked and threatened at your ugliness and will obviously be followed by them attacking you. You have been warned. Number Two : Never wear headgears such as Goibne's Helm or Morrigane's Helm. In most cases, people wearing these can not afford better headgears and will be targetted by the stronger players. Other headgears that identify you as weak are Angel Wing and Apple of Archer. Statistics have shown that pros tend to dislike people wearing such headgears as it is an eyesore to the public, thus prompting them to kill you out of raw hatred for the ugly headgear you are wearing. Theories however have said that many pros love to disguise themselves as noobs with such headgears. There is however insufficient data to prove this. Number Three : Never ever swear to people in tagalog. Most of the pros dislike this as it is very rude and uncouth. On second thought, never ever swear to anyone in the first place. Swearing at a pro will most likely result in the following: -Lots of deaths on the victim's part. -A result of KoS-ing the victim. Number Four : Words to avoid. For reasons which should be understood in general without explanation. -Weak -Asa -F*ck you / F*ck -Noob ( Currently we refer to it as nab or nub or even noobshit ) -Aw ( Some people find it irritating. ) -Ow ( The proper spelling would be "Oh" ) Statistics have shown that noobs tend to repeatedly use these words in conjunction with attacking you and followed by their swift death which will further result in more spamming of such words. We believe it is either a problem with their brains or they might just be experiencing keyboard failure. Number Five : Skills to avoid in PvP. Never cast them unless absolutely nessacary. -Storm Gust -Jupitel Thunder -Sacrifice with damage below 50k -Asura Strike -Lightning Spear of Ice For obvious reasons, based on opinions from many players, these skills are often hated on in PvP. Observations have led me to conclude that with the abundance of AsuraWarpers, SacriWarpers and Skill Spammers which fail to kill the pros, a wrongly casted skill of the above list ( may extend to other skills ) will often result in death on the caster's part. Research has shown, with the use of Asura Strike, the Death toll of Fro has extended 200% in this 2 month. Number Six : Do refrain from going up to random people and saying "pa test po" or "test" or "try dmg" and stuff of that sort. In the event you wish to test your damage out, the following should be mentioned : "Hey, do you mind if I test out my damage. I'm working on a new build/Seeing if the item I purchased is good". Referring to the above statements, I would also like to hand out advice to people not to go "heal", "heal plz", "heal plz(x) with x being the number of z's you're adding", "hil" or anything that sounds like Heal but without the proper manners. Non proper requsts for buffs or heals will then result in an untimely death of the requester due to various wounds from results of unknown property magic. We suspect that the cause of this is Soul-Linked Holy Light spamming, but we are not sure. Additional Info : Contrary to popular belief, the word FAIL, a derivative of FAILBOAT is not used by noobs. More often is this word found to be expressed as a social word in the upper hierachy of FRO. You will find that Pros tend to express their feelings towards the noobs with words such as fail or pooned ( A variation of pawned/pwned ). Also observations have led to show that it is often used among friends in the upper society ( Pro community ) as to express to each other though often it has different meanings when used on different people. Examples include : Zcion : Anta you FAILBOAT!!! Antagonist. : NO U!!!! In this context the word FAIL is used as a greeting or as a word of affection among friends in the higher society. We will take another example. : Zygie : Fail. Random Noob : Awwwts. aww. Swt. This context refers to the contempt the above *pro* has for the random noob. In no way is it to express any other feeling. Often when pros use fail on a noob, it will be followed with a round of applause from the general crowd and the pro's friends. Extra Contracts! New research has shed light on the mystery of the whining noob. Whinus Noobius or more commonly known as the Garden Whining Noob. Very often will you see them whining about how they are killed and of item imbalances. You will notice that, when pwned ( or Pooned ) these noobs will attempt to whine and/or report you on the forums. In the event the 2nd case occurs ( which is infact often followed up by the first case ), these noobs forget to follow the report template. This results in an appearence of a random GM ( More oftenly GM Lhya ) followed by a warn increase. Due to insufficient proof, researchers have the theory that after an unsucessful whine/report attempt, these noobs will promptly gang up ( more oftenly with more of their kind or with their friends ( Also classified under the same species ) ) and create whine threads on the forums. Then they will further go on and bitch in Fcity about how unfair the GM's are. ( We have records of the GM's swinging the mighty BAN HAMMER ) Though it is a popular theory, we do not know the extent of truth in this theory. Some GWN's ( Abbrv. for Garden Whining Noob ) have shown this behaviour though when data is tabulated into a graph, there is indication on the fluctuations of their behavioural patterns. It can however be confirmed that those GWN's who manage to find thier way onto the forums have garnered a somewhat higher intelligence level than their non-forumer counterparts. Advice to all players : If confronted with this sub species of noob, it is advised that players clear the area as soon as possible to avoid as little contact with them. Even sight of such noobs might temporarily cause blindness and a huge amount of "LOL-ing". Chances are, if you have been a victim of such an attack, you might contract Whinitis, which is infact the whining disease. We have currently no known cure but however it is said that the GM's are able to contain the infection. If you know you're infected please do not hesistate to @request for help lest you infect the other players. More Extra's! The Priest & Noob Theory After some extensive research, the team has come to shed new light on this issue. Based on the belief that priests are only for support, we have theorized and analyzed what goes on in the minds of a noob when its eyes lock on a priest. During the time the research team has spent undercover in the noob community, we have come to decipher what the noobs were speaking in their own distinct but uncouth language. Here is a given example extracted from one such anonymous noob : LOLOL!!11!1 IT PR13STZzzorsSSs. WEAK ASA ASA ASA KILL! HEY NOOB HIL ME PLOXZORS11!! GIV3 MeEE zennnyyy itemszzzz I hardly doubt you would want to hear more of this, so let us move on shall we? It is a widely believed idea among noobs that priests are WEAK (However this is very untrue). Tests conducted have shown that 9.5 out of 10 noobs will indeed respond to the urge to hit a priest. If you are familiar with the concept of drugs, you will understand the following. Whenever a noob attacks a priest, it is merely an act of self-gratification. These noobs believe that, when attacking a priest they achieve spiritual high, and further if they successfully kill a priest they will indeed achieve NIRVANA. Statistics from the Department of Magical Death Related Incidents ( DMDRI ) have come to shed light that, the death toll of noobs in what we believe to me "Priest related accidents" have increased tenfold over the time period of <x> months. On an average, 50 noobs die daily to Holy Light related accidents. The Research Team would like to further extend its service to the players to send out this warning : Never judge a book by its cover. A priest may very well look harmless but infact may be hiding some very nasty things inside that robe. In the event you wish to become a priest, do consult one of the senior priests as to avoid noobishness. Also, on behalf of the Priest Community we would also like to advise players to properly request for buffs/heals or suffer from deaths relating to Soul-Linked Holy Light Spam. More studies also shows that Priests are capable of Bashing your Face off with their Mighty Book of Deaths, resulting in a nasty 10% coma, along with Stripping, or breaking of sed weapons, or armors. Indeed that the known graceful class of a priest, can sometimes be not as soft, as most perceive it to be. A Word from Zcion : Lol. So True. happened to me, was attacked by a random sniper. I killed him. And He said "Never thought a priest could kill." Moreeee Extra's! : Perverts, What are they? Today, in our ever expanding world, there exist many individuals who are sexually deprived. These individuals resort to taking the internet by storm and the scourge of the perverts has extended so far as to infect fRO with it. Based on the research of the team, we have uncovered new findings of two new sub-species of noobs. Pervertis Noobius, the Common Ground Pervert is often seen roaming the various areas of fRO. Statistics show that these noobs tend to cluster in few areas though some may be found outside of their natural habitat roaming around. It has been theorized that these creatures have built in sensors which allow them to scan wide areas for potential prey. Researchers and Scientists worldwide refer to this as SM-Vision or Sex Maniac Vision. Areas in which the density of these creatures exceed the norm are Fcity and the PvP Areas. In their various random appearances in the PvP rooms, these noobs will proceed to scan for prey. Once their scanners has locked on a target, it will proceed to home in on the target. This is often followed up by a slew of words such as "friendsterrrzzz plzzz", "MSN plzz", "handphone number plz" and "where do you live miss". This behaviour often annoys surrounding pros which results in bloody massacres of these creatures. Also, it has been noted that after one such noob fails to obtain any info on their prey, they will follow up with spamming the prey in attempts to hit on their target. The Pedophile Noob is the layman's term for Pedophilis Noobius. Studies on thier behavioural patterns have led the team to conclude that their training is the work of the Legendary Pedobear. Often do these noobs roam the PvP area in search of baby characters. ( More often than not, female baby characters ) The noobs indeed, do attempt to kill the babies. Some info has shown that it is a sign of agression and a way to show thier dominancy in their hierachy. These creatures show no remorse towards babies and if they fail to kill the said baby, they will indeed attempt to capture the baby and drag him/her back to its lair. Based on research, these noobs have shown themselves to be highly agressive and very vulgar, swearing in thier uncouth language. What to avoid : If you do suspect you are one of the said creatures of the above, do seek professional counseling as to cure yourself of this deadly infection. However, it is a widely known practice among the upper society of fRO to have at least ONE baby character. Often are these babies pros in disguise and noobs being unsuspecting will attempt to prey on them. Do take note that one must be careful when around baby characters as it has been shown that some babies can hit people for up to four thousand damage per second. Some observations have shown that babies CAN indeed survive a full blown Asura Strike from a Pedophile Noob and WILL retaliate with a much bruter force than these noobs can imagine. If you indeed do have the notion of attacking a baby, we, the Research Team would like to give a warning to you against such a folly. Tale of the Stripper and the Beggar The Research team has recently uncovered an age old book in the GM domain. It appears to be some sort of ancient tome from one of the GM's collections. After much restoration on the said book, the research team has come to reveal the findings. This book seems to be a volume of tales from GM Anela depicting a certain person's travels throughout the land of ForsakenRO. One such tale was The Tale of the Stripper and the Beggar. Before we begin on the story, let us briefly describe what these creatures are. Research on the Internet and in museums have led us to find the defintion of a Stripper. Stripperus Noobius, is what appears to be an evolved version of the Pervertis Noobius. These noobs have evolved beyond thier normal behaviour and seem to have aquired a new skill; "Full Strip". Studies have shown that these noobs tend to use skills such as Storm Gust to freeze people in PvP before using their stripping powers. It has been shown that these noobs tend to get high at the sight of a stripped person and will further proceed to strip more victims. Failure to strip a person usually results in Backslide spamming and @warping away. A recent statistical analysis has shown that there is a recent insurgence of such creatures into PvP grounds. Players are hence warned to be careful as a Stripperus Noobius MIGHT appear out of nowhere shouting "LOLOLNOOB" which we believe translates to either "LOL YOU NOOB" or "HELLO I AM LINDSAY LOHAN". From an extract from Wikipedia, the definition of beggar is : To request something in a supplicating manner, with the implication that the person who is begging will suffer emotional and/or physical harm if the request is not granted. As such, the term is applicable not only to individual persons, but also to groups, such as street corners or public transport, and encountering a stranger who requests money, food, shelter or other things. Beggars indeed do remain the plague of the online gaming community and are virtually impossible to eradicate. After much experiments, these beggars are found to populate areas which they believe consist of rich people. Their tendency to randomly walk up to people and deal them brings much annoyance to people. More often than not, these beggers do indeed wander into the PvP areas. It has been shown that beggars often find themselves dead after entering PvP. Now for the extract from the tome, Anela's Entry : Have been observing these creatures trying to STRIP pros. Their behaviour amuses me. Turned around to do something, found them dead when I returned. Strange.." "Lhya's Entry : Some random person kept dealing me in Fcity going 'GM ZENY PLZ ITEM PLZ'. I tried to get him to stop. Didn't work. I banned him" "Sheild's Entry : These creatures have noticed me. They're trying to do obscene things to my manhood. Shall not let them do it. -Later- They failed hard. I killed them 2^100 times" "Genesis's Entry For some reason, I have this crowd following me. They keep eyeing my Fhelm and Str Belts.." "Genesis's Entry No 2 : They tried to NINJA it! Then they went "H3YN0oBGIV3MIITAMZPLOXZORS123!!!1!111!! I have no idea what uncouth language they're speaking. Are they ALIENS? I'm scared." As for now, that is all we could extract. A thumb rule in PvP is to never randomly strip a person. It is true that you may have certain explicit urges to see girls ( or GUYS ) naked but what is the internet for then? Also to avoid death in PvP, one should NEVER beg for items, this act often relates itself to death incidents. And in a recent interview with GM Lhya. Recent research by the Investigation Team of the ForsakenRO Staff (ITFRO) has found a new specie of noob wandering around in our server, the term, is known as "Slavius Noobius". However, we have found little information on the behaviour of this creature; however, close field research has showed us that the actions of this new breed, go as following: "The Slavius Noobius is a evolution of the Begging Noob, however, they have achieved enough I.A to realize that they'll never gonna get anything by begging, instead, they camuflage themselves as possible "Active" candidates for a "PRO" player Guild. After they convice the guild leader that they are active and are as always "getting better" they will procede to use the word "master" or "sir" to reffer to the GL. After a couple of days, as some of them notice, they still are not receiving any items, they'll procceed to the next guild." The ITFRO will keep on research. Cheers. And Before I forget. Chuck Norris HATES noobs! No offense to the GM's for using their names :P. Hope you guys enjoy reading!
Hikoshi Tsujitani Posted June 19, 2009 Report Posted June 19, 2009 Thats a hell of a post...Most of it isnt necessary for veterans...xD.
Antagonist Posted June 19, 2009 Author Report Posted June 19, 2009 Its for fun, make you laugh a lil :P
Penguin545 Posted June 19, 2009 Report Posted June 19, 2009 Wow, I can't believe I read all of that >.<
Born2punish Posted June 19, 2009 Report Posted June 19, 2009 This is funny yet a bit boring. But good job (:
SweetSerenity Posted June 19, 2009 Report Posted June 19, 2009 Haha, I love it! I enjoyed reading this very much and it made me laugh. I didn't find it boring at all. :D
» Pat Posted June 19, 2009 Report Posted June 19, 2009 Haha, I've caught myself nodding, thinking 'haha, he's so right.'.
justbobo Posted June 20, 2009 Report Posted June 20, 2009 HEH TROO SHIT ABOUT THE PRIEST. I remember a group of noobs were ganging me like i was some sort of mvp but my holy light 1shot all of them HEH
Rayray Posted June 20, 2009 Report Posted June 20, 2009 oh nicely done XD *getting his Priest ready again and waiting for noobs in lhz_dun03 to attack him*
Fyasko Posted June 21, 2009 Report Posted June 21, 2009 Or, pm Fyasko and pay him coupons and hell be your bodyguard and kill whoever you wish!!
Millenia Posted June 21, 2009 Report Posted June 21, 2009 Or, pm Fyasko and pay him coupons and hell be your bodyguard and kill whoever you wish!! yes i highly recommended david apart from the few times he died after i hired him he works well
Gilgamesh Posted June 23, 2009 Report Posted June 23, 2009 didnt read any: hasty shoes for ultimate gayness
Krystell Posted June 23, 2009 Report Posted June 23, 2009 Theres also Newbies in-game =(, they often try to find information about the equipment and quests instead of asking for the items itself. But people with the knowledge generalize that they will always ask for items and refuse to help =/ (most not all).
Rayna Posted June 23, 2009 Report Posted June 23, 2009 Well, there is a difference between "items plox" and "Could you show me where to start ______ quest?". But LOL. That was great. XD Thank your friend for the amazing guide, Anta. =3
