yeah man, just take a deep breath, and take stock of some of the good things you have goin for ya. you've got an outlet open to try and get help/ talk to people. try not to dwell on whats goin on right now, if you don't think you can make it till it's better just sit still and breathe. see? you've read this much and that has taken a lil bit, wait a lil bit longer. take it a minute at a time if you have to, whatever you can to just get past the idea of hurting yourself. think about a lil fluffy kitten or a puppy playin with a stick, or an alien talkin to a piece of grass, anything. just think of anything that will get your mind off hurtful thoughts. if that doesn't help, call a suicide hotline. there's tons of ways to talk to someone to get those thoughts outta your head. talk to a pillow if ya have to. hope this has helped man, and yeah, if this chick is doin you wrong, dump her. she's causing too much grief for it to be worth it.