tyrantlu Posted October 16, 2009 Report Posted October 16, 2009 leave some funny jokes ill post some when i get home
Adamxd Posted October 22, 2009 Report Posted October 22, 2009 Racist one: how long dark woman is making a poo? 9 months.
Apo Posted October 22, 2009 Report Posted October 22, 2009 Racist one: how long dark woman is making a poo? 9 months. I got a joke for you: You are funny
Terroryst Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 I heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor... I am Pagliacci." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.
Daniel Rose Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 3 men are walking in the desert. One has a bag of money, one has gallons of water, and the last has a car door. In the desert the come across another man. The man asks the one man why he has all the water. He answers "so if i get thirsty i can drink". He ask the man with the money why he has it. He answers " so i can buy the water from him" . Then the man asks the guy with the car door why he has it. He responds " So if i get hot i can roll down the window".... the end>.> sorry if it sucked and i didnt make it
xBiscuit Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 3 men are walking in the desert. One has a bag of money, one has gallons of water, and the last has a car door. In the desert the come across another man. The man asks the one man why he has all the water. He answers "so if i get thirsty i can drink". He ask the man with the money why he has it. He answers " so i can buy the water from him" . Then the man asks the guy with the car door why he has it. He responds " So if i get hot i can roll down the window".... the end>.> sorry if it sucked and i didnt make it lol. make me laugh. good one.
Daniel Rose Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 Jesus and Saint Peter are golfing. St. Peter steps up to the tee on a par three and hits one long and straight. It reaches the green. Jesus is up next. He slices it. It heads over the fence into traffic on an adjacent street. Bounces off a truck, onto the roof of a nearby shack and into the rain gutter, down the drain spout and onto a lilly pad at the edge of a lake. A frog jumps up and snatches the ball in his mouth. An eagle swoops down, grabs the frog. As the eagle flies over the green, the frog croaks and drops the ball. It’s in the hole. Saint Peter looks at Jesus, exasperated. "Are you gonna play golf?" he asks "Or are you just gonna f**k around?" Not mine a friends last one for today Saul is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above: "Saul, sell your business." He ignores it. It goes on for days. "Saul, sell your business for $3 million." After weeks of this, he relents, sells his store. The voice says ‘Saul, go to Las Vegas." He asks why. "Saul, take the $3 million to Las Vegas." He obeys, goes to a casino. Voice says, "Saul , go to the blackjack table and put it down all on one hand." He hesitates but knows he must. He’s dealt an 18. The dealer has a six showing. "Saul, take a card." What? The dealer has -- "Take a card!" He tells the dealer to hit him. Saul gets an ace. Nineteen. He breathes easy. "Saul, take another card." What? "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!" He asks for another card. It’s another ace. He has twenty. "Saul, take another card," the voice commands. I have twenty! Saul shouts. "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!!" booms the voice. Hit me,Saul says. He gets another ace. Twenty one. The booming voice goes: "un-f**king-believable!!" again not mine a friend told me it
kuoch Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 How do you start an asian parade? You let loose a cat in the street.
Perishable Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete check-up. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left." "Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?" "Ten," the doctor says sadly. "Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!" The doctor interrupts, "Nine..." JAJAJAJJAJAJ
Sterling v.1 Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 Sry if its long. A Filipino Applies for a Job at Wal-Mart. An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified -- an American, a Russian, an Australian and a Filipino. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question Their answer would determine who of them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know?" Dave, the American, replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of." "That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked Vladimir, the Russian. "Hmm.... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular clich?for speed." He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating his reply. "Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of." The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said. Turning to Eleuterio, the Filipino, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question. Eleuterio replied, "Apter herring da 3 preybyus ansers sir, et's obyus to me dat the fastest thing is Diarrhea." "WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The others were already giggling in their seats... "Oh, I can expleyn sir,." said Eleuterio. " You see, sir, da ader day my tummy was peeling bad and so I run so fast to the CR, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had alreydi shit in my pants!" Eleuterio is now the new "Greeter" at Wal-Mart. LOL
Perishable Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 are racist jokes allowed? Well, that is not being racist but it's called a racist joke.
Adum* Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 Sry if its long. A Filipino Applies for a Job at Wal-Mart. An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified -- an American, a Russian, an Australian and a Filipino. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question Their answer would determine who of them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know?" Dave, the American, replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of." "That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked Vladimir, the Russian. "Hmm.... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular clich?for speed." He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating his reply. "Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of." The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said. Turning to Eleuterio, the Filipino, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question. Eleuterio replied, "Apter herring da 3 preybyus ansers sir, et's obyus to me dat the fastest thing is Diarrhea." "WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The others were already giggling in their seats... "Oh, I can expleyn sir,." said Eleuterio. " You see, sir, da ader day my tummy was peeling bad and so I run so fast to the CR, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had alreydi shit in my pants!" Eleuterio is now the new "Greeter" at Wal-Mart. LOL ^lmao xD [sorry dont have a joke right now..>.<]
no1i Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 heh i hav classic jokes men classic!! ask me d0nd0n
.Sushi. Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 Sry if its long. A Filipino Applies for a Job at Wal-Mart. An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified -- an American, a Russian, an Australian and a Filipino. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question Their answer would determine who of them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know?" Dave, the American, replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of." "That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked Vladimir, the Russian. "Hmm.... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular clich?for speed." He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating his reply. "Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of." The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said. Turning to Eleuterio, the Filipino, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question. Eleuterio replied, "Apter herring da 3 preybyus ansers sir, et's obyus to me dat the fastest thing is Diarrhea." "WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The others were already giggling in their seats... "Oh, I can expleyn sir,." said Eleuterio. " You see, sir, da ader day my tummy was peeling bad and so I run so fast to the CR, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had alreydi shit in my pants!" Eleuterio is now the new "Greeter" at Wal-Mart. LOL Haha, nice.
kuoch Posted October 23, 2009 Report Posted October 23, 2009 Why do asians go to petco? Shop for dinner! WAKKEKE
Guest icy Posted October 24, 2009 Report Posted October 24, 2009 Lmao kuoch wtf is up with you and asian jokes?
Sterling v.1 Posted October 24, 2009 Report Posted October 24, 2009 are racist jokes allowed? Sorry if you think my joke is racist. I didn't mean to offend any filipino with this joke because i'm also a filipino. I just wanna share this funny joke.
gamersrule26 Posted October 24, 2009 Report Posted October 24, 2009 Sry if its long. A Filipino Applies for a Job at Wal-Mart. An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified -- an American, a Russian, an Australian and a Filipino. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question Their answer would determine who of them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know?" Dave, the American, replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of." "That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked Vladimir, the Russian. "Hmm.... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular clich?for speed." He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating his reply. "Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of." The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said. Turning to Eleuterio, the Filipino, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question. Eleuterio replied, "Apter herring da 3 preybyus ansers sir, et's obyus to me dat the fastest thing is Diarrhea." "WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The others were already giggling in their seats... "Oh, I can expleyn sir,." said Eleuterio. " You see, sir, da ader day my tummy was peeling bad and so I run so fast to the CR, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had alreydi shit in my pants!" Eleuterio is now the new "Greeter" at Wal-Mart. LOL Nice one. Made me laugh
kuoch Posted October 24, 2009 Report Posted October 24, 2009 How do asians find a free source of food? They steal their neighbors house pets. WAKEKEKEKE
Mojaysincross Posted October 24, 2009 Report Posted October 24, 2009 Impossible to Please A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside." So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
Antagonist Posted October 24, 2009 Report Posted October 24, 2009 How do you drown a Chinese? You throw a penny down a well. How do you drown More Chinese people? You make the well bigger.
kuoch Posted October 24, 2009 Report Posted October 24, 2009 How do you drown a Chinese? You throw a penny down a well. How do you drown More Chinese people? You make the well bigger. LOLOLOL, gotta love asian jokes.
Guest icy Posted October 24, 2009 Report Posted October 24, 2009 How do you drown a Chinese? You throw a penny down a well. How do you drown More Chinese people? You make the well bigger. Oh man. you got something against asians too huh? Luckily, I'm not asian. Whew!
no1i Posted October 24, 2009 Report Posted October 24, 2009 them fighting words man! FIGHTING WORDS AHHHH
