Laws of RO

[Millenia]

Not aimed at any server as such, just found this and lol'd.

Warning, filled with bad language!

Rules of NerfingBALANCING Ragnarok Online

1. Classes must be nerfed if they can hit an Assassin.
2. Classes must be nerfed if they survive Sonic Blow.
3. Anyone that can kill an Assassin Cross in War of Emperium must be a hacker.
4. Status effects should be banned/nerfed cause Assassin Cross doesn't have enough vitality to avoid them.
5. Orc Lord card should be banned because Assassin Crosses can take damage from it.

Classes

Novice

Piece of crap with the ability to become an hero plz.

Supernovice

Piece of crap with the ability to be every other class but still get one hit KO'd. Kind of like giving someone every rigged thing in the game but you still suck shit.

Swordsman

Typical Melee class. I like swords, amirite? Becomes a Paladin or a Lord Knight, but both classes suck.

Knight/Lord Knight

Pros: It's impossible to make a bad knight.

Cons: It's impossible to make a good knight.

Crusader/Paladin

Pros: Can use a peco, and can support.

Cons: Are gay as hell. Grand Cross can hurt you more than your intended target(s).

Magician

Does magic tricks. What else must be said?

Wizard/High Wizard

Pros: Doesn't need to spend a lot of time hunting to be good

Cons: Because there are no good wizards!

Sage/Professor

Pros: Can fuck the enemy up. Big Time.

Cons: Have to be a high level to do anything (survive). Impossible to level.

Archer

Imagine Archer without Gar. It's obvious what they use, but you can become a Clown or a Gypsy with this class. Amazing!

Hunter/Sniper

Pros: Can shoot from a distance

Cons: And do shit damage unless you spend your next ten years hunting a Thanatos card, in which case you should become an hero. It should be noted that since this is the only class that can reliably hit Assassins, it will generally be horribly nerfed.

Bard/Clown

Pros: Can freeze the entire screen with a skill, can support your guild and party.

Cons: Everyone has anti-freeze armor. Most of their skills need a dancer (basically a female bard) nearby to use, which makes them suck shit even worse because not only are they totally reliant on other players, they're so fucking rare that it's damn near impossible to find even another bard, much less a dancer.

Dancer/Gypsy

Girl bard. Basically no difference from their male counterparts, except for the fact that their skills aren't as good. Every other player hits on them; thus, most dancers are male. Fights with a whip.

Thief

Only class people play as. Goes to Assassin Cross or Stalker, which are badass, cool, and sexy.

Assassin/Assassin Cross

Pros: Can use cloak, can damage people while hidden with grimtooth.

Cons: Everyone uses cheats to see you. The only way you can do any good damage is if you hunt for over 9000 ingredients and brew poison bottles for a 1% success chance. Soul Destroyer sucks shit unless you sacrifice your character's dodge, which is all you had going for you in the first place.

PROTIP: For mega-lulz, give a poison bottle to a n00b and inform them that using it will increase the user's attack speed and power. Break out the popcorn for the ensuing butthurt.

Rogue/Stalker

Pros: Can leave the enemy naked, ready for penetration.

Cons: 99% of players have a buff that renders your best skill useless.

Acolyte

The game's pussy

Priest/High Priest

Pros: Can heal and buff.

Cons: Can ONLY heal and buff.

Monk/Champion

Every monk gets Asura Strike.

Pros: They have Asura Strike.

Cons: Their only worthwhile skill is Asura Strike. Then after Asura Strike, they're fucked over and raped in the ass after a Paladin comes to inject PRESSURE.

Merchant

Guess. Okay, too hard for you? They sell stuff.

Mastersmith

Weren't they just fucking creative when they came up with "Whitesmith?" Semi-decent, but costs a metric fuckton of money because their strongest and only worthwhile attack costs over 9000 money to cast.

Pros: Can carry shit loads of shit; can troll in PvP by breaking everyone's equipment.

Cons: No ranged skills.

Alchemist/Creator

Potion up until they become creators, and then all they're good for is monster killing because none of their shit works on players.

Pros: Homoncululz; Acid Demonstration

Cons: They suck unless your enemy has high vit.

Taekwon

One of the new classes Gravity added because this shit is old and wanted more people to play. Kicks with their feet unless you're a Soul Linker. They usually die in one hit.

Soul Linker

Take a failed melee character, and make it into an even worse sage variant.

Pros: Can buff the other classes to make them stronger.

Cons: One attack ability = no way to level or survive.

Star GladiatorA one-hit-death kicker that evolves from the one-hit-death

Taekwon

Pros: Destroys MVPs with a Soul Linker; uses no SP.

Cons: Completely worthless without a Soul Linker; similar to the Knight/Ringmaster mandatory pair from FlyFF.

Gunslingers

See Taekwon, except it uses guns. Also, people use this class to look badass like Assassin Cross, but don't come close.

Pros: Basically, they're snipers.

Cons: ...with shit damage and shit HP, the enemies stand right fucking next to you before you even start shooting, and no matter how one may go about raising one, it will have a crippling flaw in any variation. Cannot advance classes.

Ninja

The alternative to Assassins for Narutards. Uses knives, throwing stars, or ninjutsu magic.

Pros: Can teleport to avoid damage when attacked; can hit from a distance.

Cons: They die in one hit once their SP runs out, leaving them unable to teleport like the cowardly faggots they are. Like gunslingers, they can't advance classes.

Trolling

) Join PVP with a level 1 novice for ensured lulz. Troll and watch players go in fag mode (This works best with Trick Dead, the Novice skill, beware of ranged attackers!)

2) Ask a friend for his alchemist/ biochemist/creator and AFK hunt with it (This is better done in a server where this is against the rules).

3) Use dead branches (monster summoning item) in a commonly frequented place, use an assassin or assassin cross and cloaking to enjoy people getting butthurt.

4) Buff people's monsters to make sure they die and not the intended target(s).

5) As mentioned above *PROTIP: For mega-lulz, give a poison bottle to a n00b and inform them that using it will increase the user's attack speed and power. Break out the popcorn for the ensuing butthurt.

6) Using ranged attacks to kill other player's monster(s) and immediately fly winging (teleporting away).

7) Luring mobs and dropping them on AFK players (cloaking/fly wing recommended).

8) Using a mob attack to kill another player's mob(s) and immediately fly wing.

9) Hack into the novice training grounds and spam dead branches.

10) Getting kills in PVP with Super Novice.

11) Continuosly ask Acolytes / Priests / High priests for buffs, itams and healz, even if you already have them, continue to do this until the player logs off or teleports.

12) Spam trade requests until the person blocks you or walks off.

13) Make fun of people who paid to play in the official server.

14) Make comments about how Maple Story is better.

15) Use an Acolyte class character and warp n00bs to dangerous places.

16) Spam skills in a highly populated town.

17) Tell anyone that's having problems to delete their "data.grf" file.

18) Tell an Assassin Cross in PVP to get more buffs.

19) Be the cause of the beginning of a guild flame war between 2 or more guilds. Extra points if the opposing guilds are Brazilian or French.

Note that any GM activity including monster summoning and mass carnage of players can be considered trolling (however, this can be disguised as an "event").

[» Pat]

ed

[Millenia]

ikr

made me lul

pasting url to ed may cause warn

[» Pat]

tru

[Tiago]

old

[exavier]

lol

[Ryoji]

Super Old. Was posted many times, long ago. Encyclopedia Dramatica. Fail thread is Fail.

Nice Copy & Paste tho.

[Anarii]

14) Make comments about how Maple Story is better.

w@t t@t? s0und v3r1 g@y!!

[Tom & Jerry]

w@t t@t? s0und v3r1 g@y!!

I Know Right

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Doggy The Avenger-Assasin Cross 255/255

Trisendo Faggot Trimako-Champ 255/255

[Aeon]

Please do not revive any old threads. Thank you very much.