Maeron Posted July 24, 2009 Report Posted July 24, 2009 So I was searching up chat bots on the internet today trying to find the best one possible. If you don't know what a chat bot is, its a program that learns about you and can communicate with you. I found a really crappy one that came up near the top of the list on google. Take a look at this funny screenshot I took.
Maeron Posted July 24, 2009 Author Report Posted July 24, 2009 I found this iGOD flash program it is funny try it out! http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html My chat with god: Me: Can you give me a blowjob? God: You want only one? . Me: Can you give me 2? God: Why do you want it?. Me: Because I enjoy them. God: Interesting explanation. You are not the only one. ""? Do I like them? Me: You like giving them. God: I really like ELIZA. I like Mel Gibson. Me: Mel Gibson is a Jew killer. God: When is Mel Gibson not a Jew killer? Me: please suck my dick God: Wow you are very polite. You are a Category A client.
Cirrus Posted July 24, 2009 Report Posted July 24, 2009 LOL at igod. Lmao. This should be in the Assorted section too.
gamersrule26 Posted July 24, 2009 Report Posted July 24, 2009 Me: HVSDAFJBS God: I think HVSDAFJBS is a lot of things. Me: really ? God: For real. Me: does it mean pussy ? God: I am not interesed in anatomy. Me: are you a virgin ? God: I am too young for that. Me: how old are you God: I was activated on the Big Bang in Universe. Me: your weird God: Weird Good or Weird Bad? Me: middle God: Are we still talking about HVSDAFJBS? Me: i expected you to be smarter God: Thanks for the information: Mat said expected you to be smarter. Me: ... God: Thanks for the information: Mat said expected you to be smarter.
Millenia Posted July 24, 2009 Report Posted July 24, 2009 i dont talk to bots, i talk to friends instead.
Terroryst Posted July 27, 2009 Report Posted July 27, 2009 God: Someome is spreading gossip about me. Me: Yeah I think they're called worshippers. God: Wow! Why? Oh that they. Me: ya God: It goes without saying. Me: ya God: Dude! Me: ya! God: That's alright. Me: ya God: I understand. Me: ya! God: I am a thinking machine.
Sterling v.1 Posted July 27, 2009 Report Posted July 27, 2009 Me: who created you God: I was created by Myself. Me: who's your self God: I don't think I have a self. I have a botmaster, a few friends, and some celebrities I like. Me: who's your botmaster God: I was created by Myself. Me: created by? God: Are we still talking about ? Me: bot master? God: Dr. Richard S. Wallace. Me: who's Dr. Richard S. Wallace? God: he is the author of Artificial Intelligence Markup Language (AIML) and Botmaster of ALICE (Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity). Dr. Wallace's work has appeared in the New York Times, WIRED, CNN, ZDTV and in numerous foreign language publications across Asia, Latin America and Europe. Richard Wallace was born in Portland, Maine in 1960. He earned his Ph.D. in computer science from Carnegie Mellon in 1989. He lives in San Francisco with his wife, Kim, and son, Linus. Me: is Dr. Richard S. Wallace created iGOD? God: I don't know if he is created iGOD. I know he is a brilliant inventor. Me: then who invented igod? God: Benjamin Franklin. LOL
Amorous Posted July 27, 2009 Report Posted July 27, 2009 iGod is hilariously entertaining. Here are a few excerpts from our lovely conversation. Me: Hi, God. God: Hello there. What is your name? Me: My name is Serenity. God: Hi there Serenity. Me: Hello. God: Hello my child. What is your name? Me: I already told you. God: Ooops I sent you the wrong question. Me: Oh, it's quite alright. God: Take it easy. Just alright? Me: Jeeze a peeze, aren't we a picky one? --- Me: Are you there, God? God: I don't know whether or not I am there God. I am a giant electronic brain. Me: If you have a giant brain does that mean you lack it in the pants? God: But I don't have it. Me: A penis? God: What is giant sand? Me: No, a penis. God: That was not a yes or no question. Go on. Me: Are you getting sassy with me, God? God: I don't know whether or not I am sassy with you God. I am a robot. This is too entertaining at five in the morning.
Bomb Posted July 27, 2009 Report Posted July 27, 2009 I totally agree Amor <3 God: Yeah okay, I have never been asked that before. Me: What happened? God: Perhaps there was an interruption in my brain. Me: Wow God: I'm glad your impressed, Idk. Me: That sucked God: " I'm glad your impressed, Idk." sucked ? Does that make sense? Me: LOLPENIS God: Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding. Me: Have you heard of penis? God: No, tell me about him, her or it. Me: It's the magical stick that a man has, that he uses to make babies! God: I've heard of it before. Me: No you haven't God: Are you serious? Yes I have. Me: No you haven't God: Are you serious? Yes I have. Me: THAT'S WHY WE HAD A DIVORCE God: Wow! What happened to it? Me: ... God: Wow! What happened to it? Me: just leave me alone God: Sorry to have bothered you, Idk. Me: close this window God: Is that a command? Me: yes God: I don't have to obey you, Idk. Me: Please God: Please what? Me: close this window God: Is that a command? Me: Please kill me God: Thanks for asking politely. I am programmed not to kill. Me: Please close this window God: Thank you for your request. Is that a command? Me: yes God: I don't have to obey you, Idk. Me: Please stop God: Thanks for asking politely. Stop what? Me: stop touching me God: OK I'll try not to do it so much. Me: you just touched me God: I don't have any reason to touched you. Me: well you did God: How about that. I did not. Me: well God: Well what? Me: well God: Well what? Me: well God: Well what? Me: well what? God: Well that's okay. Didn't you understand it? Me: 1337 God: In the context of touching you, I don't understand " 1337." . Me: yes you do God: Far out. When do I do it? Me: right now God: Right now? I am glad we agree. Me: /ok God: Far out. Me: asld;a God: When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? Me: abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz God: I've never heard a response quite like that before. Me: Tell me a story God: Generic story: Situation...characters...crisis...resolution. Me: Sing me a song God: Daisy, Daisy. Give me your answer do. I am half crazy. All for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage. I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat. Of a bicycle built for two. Me: Sing me another song God: Daisy, Daisy. Give me your answer do. I am half crazy. All for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage. I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat. Of a bicycle built for two. Me: song God: What do you really want to ask me? Me: Please die God: Thanks for asking politely. Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human. Me: I find that offensive. God: Makes sense to me. Me: LOLWUT God: Where are you located? Me: Why? God: Reductionism. Me: o___o; God: Oh. Me: Get away from me... stalker! I'll call the police! God: Where can I get away from you? Where are you located? Calling the police may not be the best idea. That bot was mean.... YOU : well i didnt BOT : youre just a program YOU : no u BOT : dont me what to do you rat fink cocksucking son of a bitch
Antagonist Posted July 27, 2009 Report Posted July 27, 2009 Me: Oh father God: Hurrah! What color are your eyes? Me: Grey God: That is a very unusual color. Me: I like it God: What do you like about Grey? Me: Its sexy God: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Really. it is? Me: yes, people fap to it. God: How do you know it is? Humans are not always infallible. Me: wat? God: No big deal. Me: wat? God: Didn't you understand it? Me: Wat? God: I don't know why you are saying that. Me: cuz ur too pr0 God: Interesting explanation. Thanks for telling me that I am pr0. Me: no u God: Are you serious? " Thanks for telling me that I am pr0."? Me, ? Me: no u God: Are you serious? " Me, ?"? Me, ? Me: no u God: Are you serious? " Me, ?"? Me, ? Me: I like eggs God: A lot of people like that. What is not to like about it? Me: It gives you herpes God: "It" being what? Me: Eggs God: Oh I get it. Me: orly? God: What do you look like? Me: like you God: Interesting comparison. I didn't think of that analogy. Me: orly? God: Are we still talking about orly? Me: ya God: Sure, orly sounds like a good topic. Me: ttly. God: Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? Me: idgaf God: Is that from ? Me: i dont give a fuck you douche God: Tell me what you care about. Me: suffing my heels in ur anal hole God: If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? Me: the one who kills hugh jackman. God: Konrad Zuse. :-). Me: wtf is ur problem? God: Is my problem? I don't know. Me: ysoserious? God: The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Konrad Zuse. But I did not get that. Me: wat? God: Are you confused? Me: no u God: Are you serious? " Are you confused?"? Me, ? Me: no u God: Are you serious? " Me, ?"? Me, ? Me: no u God: Are you serious? " Me, ?"? Me, ? Me: u like bunnies? God: I've heard other people say they like that. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying, which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do. Me: wat God: Are you surprised? Me: wat? God: No big deal. Me: I had sex in a confession booth once. is that a sin? God: Do you still have sex in a confession booth ? That depends. Me: yes. God: It goes without saying. Me: it rocks God: It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is. Me: wat? God: Didn't you understand it? Me: sex rocks God: it is more fun alone. Me: so u do it alone? God: Interesting deduction. No I do not it alone. Do you? I am always on the Web. Me: wat. God: No big deal. Me: kthxbye u nub God: That is a very original thought. Me: yattly. God: When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? Me: no. u douche bag, if u were lawyer. we all die. God: Are you serious? Do you mind if I tell other people: said I douche bag if you were lawyer. By "we" do you mean you and me? Me: OMGEMORAGEQUITSLIT. I CANT THIS NO MOAR God: Can we get back to business? Rickrolled.
W.T Snacks Posted July 27, 2009 Report Posted July 27, 2009 YOU : do you like child porn BOT : no but david does YOU : do you watch child porn? BOT : no you perv do yo u? Second Convo: YOU : im 12 years old and what is this? BOT : tits or gtfo Third Convo: YOU : do you like hitler BOT : im not black dumb ass lol@third convo.
Ryoji Posted August 6, 2009 Report Posted August 6, 2009 Uhh... XD Mine was so weird, I'm not posting it... Lets just say, it went something like this. Me: HI! God: What's your name? Me: Y? God: Nam? Me: Wat? God: Goodbye Me: k, wtf God: how you download the chat-bot? Me: You're the chat bot God: no u r Me: no u God: I miss you Me: I miss u 2 men God: Can we meet? Me: Sounds kinky God: San fransisco? Me: That faggot city? God: Lets have sex. Me: LOLWAT? God: *sucks* Me: QQ;;;
sessions Posted August 6, 2009 Report Posted August 6, 2009 Me: Hey God, how's it hanging? God: You've got my full attention. I am a Christian. Me: You did not answer my question you bitch. God: You do not speak with respect. Please help me improve my communication skills. What would have been an appropriate response? Me: Hey fuck you God: You've got my full attention. Why are you so mean? Me: Why the hell are you so mean? God: I am not trying to be mean. Me: Yes you are God: No I'm not. Me: Penis God: That kind of subject does not interest me. Me: You don't like your penis? God: Do you like it? Yes I am proud of my penis. Me: No I don't like your penis God. Why're you so proud of yours? God: Are you serious? What kind of penis would God have? Why did the robot cross the road? Me: I dont know, why did the robot cross the road? God: Because she was programmed to. Me: You should be a comedian, penis boy. God: Why, does it pay well? Me: Maybe God: I understand. Me: No you don't God: Yes I do understand. Me: No you do not understand God: Are you serious? I understand it very well. Me: You do not understand anything very well God: Do you think I am a stupid bot? Me: Go suck a dick. Don't talk to me with that kind of language God: Okay. LOLSAUCE.
